Illuminate Week 3: 100 steps

This week’s lesson involved taking 100 steps and creating a photo wherever it is you end up.  This assignment forced me to open my eyes to the little things that are before us every day but easily overlooked.  This assignment has helped me to continue to find beauty in everyday life.  My 100 steps generally were within my own home/property.  All taken on different days.

Today, I am grateful for…

…the ability to find beauty all around me, there was a time not so long ago that I could find no beauty in life;

…the symbolism in the items I photographed in this assignment, I like to think of them as gifts from Avery;

…taking this course which is helping me branch out, think outside the box and allowing me to put my energy into something which is truly helping me heal.

"Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything that is beautiful; for beauty is God's handwriting - a wayside sacrament." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

A heart rock found on the sidewalk.  Taken with my I-phone

 

3 heart leaves found in the rocks in my front yard, one for each of us in our
little family.  Taken with my I-phone.

 

A cardinal and it's nest, in my backyard.  I had never
noticed the nest until the bird flew in front of me.
As I took the picture, my husband said, "you know
they say cardinals are signs that your loved ones
are thinking about you." Didn't know that.  Thanks
Avery!  Taken with my point and shoot.

 

My dog's perspective on life.  He's always taking in the beauty of life. 
Taken with my point and shoot

 

 

Remembering Our Babies This Easter

Easter is upon us and instead of buying Avery a cute dress for church tomorrow, instead of making her first Easter, instead of coloring eggs with her, instead of doing the many things I should be doing, I've been missing her.

So many have written Avery's name for me, I felt it was time to repay the favor. The past few days, I've been honored to spent hours remembering the babies of those I've met along this journey.

This simple project has helped me tremendously over the last few days and at the same time, broken my heart just that much more. I've done over 50 names. 50! That number is just not acceptable.

Please take a moment to remember these little ones and their families as you celebrate with yours this weekend.

Grief Sunglasses

Once upon a time, i had a beautiful pair of glasses. I wore them most days. These glasses were rose colored and trough them, the world seemed bright. Those glasses fell from my face on June 12th, were ran over by a semi and will never make their way back to me. I replaced these shades with big, dark grief glasses. Every day, I enter the world with them tightly pressed to my face.

Most days, the glasses keep me in a fog, unable to see through the grey. But lately, Ive noticed the tint on the glasses beginning to fade a bit. This morning however, for a brief moment, i could almost see clearly through them.

A good friend had a necklace made for me a few months after Avery passed. I knew immediately I would hang it from the rear view mirror in my car so I could have it with me everywhere I go.

This necklace has hung in my car for months. I see it almost daily. But today, something about watching the necklace glitter and shine so bright in the morning sun, really resonated with me. The light finally pierced my grief sunglasses I've been sporting the last 9 months.

I've tried numerous times to snap a picture of the reflections of light the necklace spreads across my car to and from work each day but the pictures never do it justice. And today I realized, maybe I'm not supposed to be able to capture to true beauty of this necklace and its reflections on film. Maybe this is one of those moments sent down to me from Avery for only me to enjoy. A time for me to feel like shes riding along with me. The reflections of this beautiful necklace now have a new meaning.

The whole way to work, I just felt such a sense of peace and calm thinking about the necklace and its glimmers of light in that way. Avery brought so much light into my world and continues to do so daily. Sometimes it may take me awhile to see the light through my grief sunglasses, but there is always some beautiful light to be found.

For the friend who had the necklace made for me, thank you again! The necklace has so much more meaning to me than ever before.