Thursday, January 29, 2015


This time of year I am hesitant to take a look at my daily time hop app. Some days they are all Harper but others there are bittersweet, heart wrenching reminders of Avery. From now till June, she was very present in my growing belly and in our arms for those 6, all to quick, days. Monday, this was my bittersweet reminder of what I am missing. I wanted badly to take amazing trips with Avery and share the world with her but that was taken from me. And as I started to let my mind wander to all that Avery (and I) were missing out on, I thought back to all that she did get to experience. 

Before I knew I was pregnant, I spent a long weekend in NYC visiting my former college roommate and one of my absolute best friends, Sarah. And while I didn't know it until a few days after I arrived home, Avery was with me for that trip.  She was around 4 weeks at the time and got to experience all of NYC as a little gummy bear.

Avery got to experience Times Square, a Broadway show, the Statue of Liberty, Rockefeller Center, Central Park, Macy's, lots of amazing food and lots of great shopping. She flew on a plane. She rode in a NYC taxi and the subway. And that is not all she was able to do while she was with us. 

Avery went on boat rides, saw beautiful sunsets, went to the beach, the spa, the movies. She visited the Keys twice. She went shopping, had amazing fondue, heard Christmas music and experienced a Thanksgiving dinner. She went to work with me and cuddled up with her Daddy and I on the couch. 

She spent 9 months and 6 days knowing nothing but love. True, unconditional, never ending love. I didn't get to show her the beautiful sights of the world, but she has now seen more than I ever will in this life. And through her brief life she has shown and taught me so much more about life than I ever thought possible.

Life isn't how I planned but now it's all about perspective

and how I choose to live the life I have been given. And I will continue to do so in a way to make both of my daughters proud.