The 2nd Annual Avery Diane Hanson Memorial Golf Tournament

The Second Annual Avery Diane Hanson Memorial Golf Tournament went amazing. We raised just over $9,000 for Avery's Light and Molly Bears. It was once again such a very humbling experience. The outpouring of love, even 15 months later, is much more than expected. It warms my heart and brings tears to my eyes that it's all because of my Avery. 

We've spent countless hours over the last three months planning the tournament. It's such a bittersweet experience. On one hand I am full of pride, how many people can say their 6 day old daughter has impacted so many? But on the other hand, I dreaded planning it, who really wants to plan events in memory of their infant daughter?  All in all however I've come away from the experience moved. We will help full the arms of over 100 families with bears from Molly Bears and still have funds to help those in our community. 

Over 25 volunteers and 100 golfers made the day as successful as it was. We had the support of over 50 local businesses. Everyone who was part of this event committed to helping the community of bereaved parents, everyone of those people helping break the silence. 

I will forever be grateful for each and every person who took time out of their busy schedules to think about Avery and all of the other babies gone much too soon. I truly cannot put into words how touched I am by the success of the event. We will continue to make this an annual event and continue to speak out for Avery and her friends in Heaven. 

Although the void she left will never be filled, I am so thankful to be doing good in her name and to continue to have others do the same. 

Much love to everyone who keeps the light Avery brought into this world shining for all to see. 

"Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light."

~Albert Schweitzer

Avery sending us her love during the tournament. This A appeared in the sky that day and could be seen all over the golf course. 

15 Months

15 Months ago we were spending the evening with family and Avery. Things were going so well at home and we were really getting into a routine of having an infant at home. 15 months ago, life was perfect.  I went to bed that night expecting to spend my first day the next day home alone with Avery. I was nervous but ready to really be a Mom. 

But I never got that far. I never got to spend the day alone with her. And 15 months later, it still kills me that one day everything can be perfect and within a few hours everything can just fall apart. Dreams can be lost, hearts broken and futures lost. 

15 months later and I sit here putting the finishing touches on our 2nd Annual Avery Diane Hanson Memorial Golf Tournament to benefit Avery's Light (www.averyslight.com) and Molly Bears (www.mollybears.com).  And while keeping Avery's memory alive and helping others who are walking this same path is very rewarding, it doesn't compare to holding her in my arms. I will now always work to help others but it will never be enough to fill the void. 

I never expected to be doing this 15 months ago. I never expected to be planning a second memorial fundraising event. I didn't expect to have empty arms. 

Time continues to pass and while I am better at functioning like a 'normal' person, the pain is still very real and cuts deep. Time does not heal wounds, it just helps you get better at managing the bleeding. 

I miss her today and every day just as I did 15 months ago and just as I will 15 years from now.