I had a few nice things happen the past few days to help me realize how many people I have in my life that support me. My mom remembered yesterday was a hard day and sent me flowers. I had a great lunch today with my OB doctor who I love and have a ton of respect for. And I was able to really think about something a very good friend sent to me the other day:
"Only trust someone who can see these three things in you: the sorrow behind your smile, the love behind your anger and the reason behind your silence."
After reflecting on this awhile today I am so grateful for those people in my life who can seem past the facade I have built these last 8 months.
Those who know that just because I am able to smile or laugh doesn't mean I'm "all better." Those who know that the things I say sometimes or the anger I show is simply because I hurt with a pain that cuts deeper than imaginable, a pain so fierce that unless you've lost a child you wouldn't understand it (and I wouldn't want you to). Those who know when I've been quiet too long that its not personal rather I'm just having a few bad days and those who go out of their way to check on me when it does happen.
Those who remember the 6th and the 12th are still hellish for me and go out of their way to let me know they remember Avery and me on those days. Those who let me talk about Avery at length even when they've heard it all before. Those who visit Avery at the cemetery so often that the grass is worn down. Those who write her name for me. Those who take me to lunch and let me talk about us and Avery the majority of the time. Those who think before they speak so not to hurt us with their words unintentionally. Those who read this mess of a blog quietly and don't take offense when I'm ranting and raving. Those who've told me they read this and they actually have found help or comfort in the words I wrote.
Those people I work with that understand when I take a "sad day." Those who still bring Avery up first. Those who tell me how often they think about her. Those whose children know who Avery is and remember her too. Those who let me be silent in a room full of people. Those who wear their pink Avery bracelets and those who put her "A" on their cars. Those who raised money for a playground in her name and have spent countless hours making it perfect.
To all of "those" people, you know who you are. Some of you we've know for years, others a short time. Some are family, others friends. But each of you mean more to us than you will ever know and I am beyond blessed to have you by my side through this journey. Thank you all!