I've been dreading February and March for sometime now. They are the first months since June where the big dates also fall on the same days of the week they did back in June. These next two months from the 1st - 16th are going to be exceptionally painful.
Since Friday I have been reliving each day and thinking to myself. "8 months ago at this time I was..."
8 months ago today was our last day before we headed to the hospital to be induced.
8 months ago yesterday, Sunday, I went to the hospital for a NST and got to hear Avery's heart beating so beautiful.
8 months ago last Friday, the 1st, we had a little scare when I bled out of nowhere. We went to the hospital in a panic not knowing what was wrong. After a few hours of monitoring they chalked it up to Avery getting ready to make her appearance and my low lying placenta.
8 months ago tonight, I had a restless night of sleep. Excited to be meeting my daughter. I woke up around 3 and sat in the Livingston with a bowl of cereal soaking in the last few peaceful moments I would have with her on the inside.
8 months ago tomorrow we woke early to head to the hospital to be induced. We paced the halls trying to progress my labor while listening the the Black Keys.
8 months ago on Wednesday, our beautiful daughter finally entered the world all 7lbs 15.5 ounces of her with her chubby cheeks and beautiful head of hair. 8 months ago after I was taken from the post OP room, I held her for the first time in the wry early morning hours. I fell in love more deeply than I ever thought possible.
I could go on and on. I can remember so much from this time period 8 months ago. I am trying my best to hold it together but there is something about it being the date and day that is digging the knife in my heart deeper.
I just miss her so much. No matter how many months pass, that will be the one thing that stays the same; my love and longing for her.
I pray for God's continued comfort and strength over these next two weeks. I also pray for everyone who I've meet in the BL community that He would comfort and strengthen you too!
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.