It's still hard many days to be able to see past what is missing in life and see what is still here to be thankful. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't sit and wonder what life would be like if Avery was still here with us.
The holidays make that especially hard. Watching families celebrate with each piece in tact, seeing the million posts on Facebook of baby's first Thanksgiving, reading how everyone is thankful for their kids. It's enough to make a grieving parent want to lock themselves away from reality.
Last year, that's exactly what we did. Las Vegas was out anti-Thabksgiving. It was what we needed at the time. But this year, we are back to reality. Back to turkey and football with the family. Back to the stark reality that this is NOT how we envisioned Thanksgiving when we were pregnant 2 years ago. But today, instead of focusing on the life I'm missing, I want to take some time and focus on all that I do have to be thankful for this year.
I am thankful for...
God's unending love and grace. He has kept me going even on the darkest days. And His promise that one day, we will all be together again.
Avery-my beautiful girl and the time we had with her, the things she has taught us and for her unending love.
My amazing husband who picks me up when I can't get up on my own, who walks this journey with me and who loves me and our girls unconditionally.
Harper, my sweet and stubborn rainbow baby. The one who has brought hope back into our once dark and dismal lives. Avery's little sister, who will know all about her big sister in Heaven.
Family who has stuck by outside through everything. Those who still speak her name, those that don't think we should be "over it" already, those who have kept us standing.
Friends, old and new, who are like family. They never cease to amaze me with just how much they care for us and her and will continue to help keep her memory alive.
Even in our darkest moments, we still have lots to be thankful for. ❤️