It hit me this evening as I was watching the sky clear and the sun begin to shine through the clouds how much summer and summer storms bring me back to last summer. They bring me back to Avery.
It stormed every evening while we were in the hospital and every evening she lived. And now that it's back to the normal summer weather, I can no longer avoid how quickly June is coming.
The best and worst days of my life.
June will be here in less than a week.
I've been trying really hard to focus my energy on projects I'm working on and they've been doing a pretty great job distracting me. But now that the storms are back, no matter how much I do to distract myself, I'm reminded of the impending roller coaster of emotions that is sneaking up on me. And I'm reminded of what is missing.
Her birthday is 2 weeks from today. 2 weeks. This time last year I was eating spicy food and tons of pineapple trying to help labor get kick started. I was nesting and anxiously waiting Avery's arrival.
I'm not sure what the anniversary of her 6 days will bring. I just can't believe it's been almost a year. I still can't believe she is gone.
Summer will always be her time and the rain will always remind me of her.