Thursday, March 28, 2013

Grief Sunglasses

Once upon a time, i had a beautiful pair of glasses. I wore them most days. These glasses were rose colored and trough them, the world seemed bright. Those glasses fell from my face on June 12th, were ran over by a semi and will never make their way back to me. I replaced these shades with big, dark grief glasses. Every day, I enter the world with them tightly pressed to my face.

Most days, the glasses keep me in a fog, unable to see through the grey. But lately, Ive noticed the tint on the glasses beginning to fade a bit. This morning however, for a brief moment, i could almost see clearly through them.

A good friend had a necklace made for me a few months after Avery passed. I knew immediately I would hang it from the rear view mirror in my car so I could have it with me everywhere I go.

This necklace has hung in my car for months. I see it almost daily. But today, something about watching the necklace glitter and shine so bright in the morning sun, really resonated with me. The light finally pierced my grief sunglasses I've been sporting the last 9 months.

I've tried numerous times to snap a picture of the reflections of light the necklace spreads across my car to and from work each day but the pictures never do it justice. And today I realized, maybe I'm not supposed to be able to capture to true beauty of this necklace and its reflections on film. Maybe this is one of those moments sent down to me from Avery for only me to enjoy. A time for me to feel like shes riding along with me. The reflections of this beautiful necklace now have a new meaning.

The whole way to work, I just felt such a sense of peace and calm thinking about the necklace and its glimmers of light in that way. Avery brought so much light into my world and continues to do so daily. Sometimes it may take me awhile to see the light through my grief sunglasses, but there is always some beautiful light to be found.

For the friend who had the necklace made for me, thank you again! The necklace has so much more meaning to me than ever before.

1 comment:

  1. Omg Crystal, my heart skipped a beat, Chills ran down my legs and tears in my eyes while reading this! I love you girl :) I know she's there telling you what a wonderful mom you are. Telling you that she is ok. And that she thinks of you as much as you think of her. We all love and miss you so much Avery!!!