Thursday, September 6, 2012

Happy 3 Month Birthday Baby Girl

Today my little girl turns 3 months old in Heaven and not in my arms.  The past 3 months have gone excruciatingly slow yet I cannot believe it’s already been 3 months since I gave birth to a little miracle.  3 months ago I was enjoying by far the best day of my life.  I am overcome by so many emotions today.  I am full of “should bes” and sadness.  I should be taking pictures of her today to track her growth in photos and I should be journaling what she’s accomplished, her habits, personality, etc.  I have so many “should be” moments that will never become a reality for Avery and me.  Today, I could focus on the sadness of marking her 3 months without her but today, I am choosing to remember the good and focus on the positive.  My daughter, who only lived 6 days, impacted me in ways I never realized possible.  Today, and hopefully every monthly birthday, I will focus on the good that came to be because of my beautiful, precious daughter.
Avery has…

<3         made me realize the strength of relationships.  Through this, those who truly care, both family and friends, have shined through, proving their devotion to my husband, myself and my daughter, time and time again.  Without these people, I would not be in the place I am now.
<3         mended some tarnished family relationships.
<3         made me appreciate my husband more than ever.  Not a day goes by now, where I don’t realize how blessed I am to be married to such an amazing man.  God truly blessed me when he gave me my husband.  I would not want to go through this with anyone else.  He is my rock, my glue.  Through this, where many couples fall apart, we have clung to each other and become closer. 
<3         increased the love in our marriage.
<3         through her funeral service, helped bring at least 1 person to Christ. 
<3         made me appreciate God’s creations-sunsets, rain, butterflies, dragonflies, the ocean, etc.  I see them differently than I did before.
<3         made me focus on me more.  This may sound selfish but before her I was a people pleaser to a fault. 
<3         made me realize what is NOT important in life and what really is. 
<3         taught me the true meaning of unconditional love. 
<3        taught me I am stronger than I ever thought possible.  If I can survive this, I can do anything.
<3         encouraged me to do more good.  I want to help the babyloss community in any way possible.  I plan to do at least 1 good action for this community monthly and hope to do more. 
<3        done so much more in 6 days than I have done in 27 years…she is my inspiration.
Today, I am thankful, truly thankful to have been blessed with my beautiful daughter.  I am blessed God allowed me to become pregnant with her, to have 9 months of bonding with her and 6 wonderful days of being her mother.  I know so many do not get this and I am thankful.  She has changed me for the better and for this I am so very thankful.
Today, I will try to focus on the good that has come from Avery’s birth and not the sadness associated with her passing.  Today, I will honor my daughter.  Today, I will be strong and focus on the beauty of the day she was born and the immense amount of love she brought to our family.
Avery, I loved you yesterday, I love you still, always have, always will.  We are missing you baby girl-today and every day.  Happy 3 Month Birthday in Heaven. 

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