Day 17: Birthday/Anniversary

This is a collage of the best day of my life, June 6, 2012, Avery's birthday.  Never in a million years did I imagine on that day that just 4 months later I would be participating in the Capture your Grief Challenge.  In my heart, I feel like shouldn’t be part of this; I should be posting tons of pictures of my little 4 month old girl not documenting my grief.  I don't want to be imagining how we will celebrate her first birthday or her first anything without her.  I just want to go back and re-live each of the 6 amazing days I had with her. 

Today is a horrible day.  I can’t get it together today, I can’t stop crying, I can’t stop wanting to scream and punch something.  But I also have no energy to deal with any of it.  Today, I can’t face my feelings.  Today, I just want to be home and in bed and that’s exactly what I am going to do.