This is a collage of the best day of my life, June 6, 2012, Avery's birthday. Never in a million years did I imagine on that day that just 4 months later I would be participating in the Capture your Grief Challenge. In my heart, I feel like shouldn’t be part of this; I should be posting tons of pictures of my little 4 month old girl not documenting my grief. I don't want to be imagining how we will celebrate her first birthday or her first anything without her. I just want to go back and re-live each of the 6 amazing days I had with her.Today is a horrible day. I can’t get it together today, I can’t stop crying, I can’t stop wanting to scream and punch something. But I also have no energy to deal with any of it. Today, I can’t face my feelings. Today, I just want to be home and in bed and that’s exactly what I am going to do.