Days 15 & 16

Avery's Candle at Our House

 Yesterday was quite the day which is why I am behind in posting for the Capture your Grief Challenge.  Yesterday’s challenge was to post your “wave of light.”  According to the October 15^th website, www.october15.com, everyone worldwide is encouraged to light a candle at 7pm in their time zone to remember all of the babies gone too soon.  The goal is to keep the “wave of light” going for 24 hours.  To participate in this event, my husband, myself and two friends, who have also experienced a loss, traveled to Indialantic, FL to attend a beachside luminary ceremony. 

We arrived to the event hosted by Elizabeth Ministry ofMelbourne and were warmly welcomed.  We were given luminaries to decorate for our babies.  Then we all met on the beach and lit our luminaries in the shape of a cross as the sun was setting.  After dark, we all gathered, a poem was read and we shared stories of loss.  It was an incredible experience.  Families from all stages of loss were there uniting as one for our babies. 

The Luminary Cross at the Beach

It was heartwarming to be a part of a community gathering such as this.  Knowing that while many times I feel I am the only person in the world who can possibly feel this way, I am actually not alone.  Our community of loss is large and we are all willing to stand up for our babies to remember them when so many would prefer we brush their brief lives under the rug.  Yes, the death of a baby is very uncomfortable to discuss but we face this loss daily and are constantly uncomfortable.  We deserve the support through our loss just as other suffering through other tragedies deserve.  At first, I was intimidated to share via Facebook about October being Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month because I didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.  But I have since realized that unless we speak out, it will always be a taboo subject.  It is up to us to take a stand for our babies and all of the families grieving in silence, alone. 

I hope that with the help of others in our local community I can help start some sort of support group and host our own October 15^th event next year.  Maybe this will be the “good” that I am hoping to find through all of this. 

When we arrived home from the event we were shocked to see so many of our family and friends had posted pictures on Facebook and sent us pictures via text for the candles they had lit for Avery.  Some days you feel so alone in this journey but then there are days like yesterday, were family and friends prove themselves yet again and go out of their way to show you the are still there, they care and they still think about her.  Yesterday was a truly amazing day, the best I have had since losing Avery and it was all because of the love for her. 

Photos from Friends and Family of their Candles

Today’s challenge was to photograph a release.  We plan to release lanterns or balloons on Avery’s birthday so I didn’t want to take part of this challenge until we reached that special day.  However, yesterday, our family in Jacksonville released pink balloons for Avery as part of the “wave of light” and October being Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.  It was touching to see them taking part in this. 

Balloon Release from our Family

If any of our friends or family have stumbled across this blog, we are so thankful for all of you.  Your love means the world to us.  Thank you for loving Avery!