Friday, October 19, 2012

Day 19: Projects

Today’s challenge was to post a project you have worked on.  I haven’t been part of any outside projects yet only projects for myself.  These projects have helped me while grieving. 
The top left shows all of the scrapbooking supplies I have bought.  I haven’t stated the scrapbook yet but I fully intend to work on this.  After losing Avery I realized that her baby book that I received at my baby shower was going to be left 99% incomplete, I decided I didn’t even want to start it.  So, instead I am going to make my own baby book scrapbook.  I can make it her book that looks complete instead of the blank pages haunting me every time I open it.

The top right is my blog.  I started this as an outlet for my feelings.  I never intended to actually share it with anyone.  But after reading the blogs of so many BLMs, I decided I would share it during this project.  I can’t believe anyone reads my ramblings but maybe something that comes across on this blog will help another mom not feel so alone.

The bottom left is my journal.  This is where I write to Avery.  I started the journal 2 weeks after losing her as a place to tell her how I feel, how much I miss her and how much I love her.  In the beginning, I wrote to her every day, I felt like my time with her was so short that I need to tell her over and over how sad I was without her.  It was really good for me to get it out.  Now, I don’t write to her as often but it is my special place; a place where I connect to only her. 
The bottom right is the prayer flag I made for Carly’s Luminous Light Ceremony.  This was the first “crafty” thing I did after losing Avery.  It was really nice to put so much thought into something that represented her.  I was so pleased and in love with it, I want to make another for her room. 

I really hope in the near future I can become part of a project that isn’t just for “me.”  I would love to be part of something bigger to help other families in similar circumstances.  I don’t think I am quite ready to be a help to others yet as I still feel like I need help myself but I really feel the pull to help others in the future. 

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